建造一个筏子来度过你的离别

 

Whatever your situation is, you'll have to say lots of goodbyes in a few weeks. Saying proper and good goodbyes is important for a healthy transition into your next chapter. According to David Pollok, the author of the internationally renowned book 第三种文化孩子要做到这一点，一个好方法是建立一个RAFT. 这是一种可以应用于现在和将来任何转换的方法. 下面是它的工作原理:

 

这意味着原谅. 在你离开之前修复所有破裂的关系. 不要带着恶心的感觉离开. 它可能是走到和你打架的人面前，和他们说话. 如果你不想一个人做这件事，你可以和朋友一起做. You could say, "I am sorry we didn't talk much after X, but I wish you a good summer!当然，结果取决于对方的反应. But whatever their reaction is, you tried and closed this chapter for you! You want to leave in peace and get your relationships straightened beforehand. This way, you avoid bad memories and extra baggage that you might otherwise carry with you for years.

 

We build and maintain friendships and relationships through positive affirmation. In this case, 它可能是给你最喜欢的老师写一封告别信, giving your roommate a special photo of the two of you or gifting your friend the red T-shirt they liked so much. 一句友好的话语和拥抱也很重要! With this, 你是在向他们展示你的朋友, teachers, 清洁人员…)谢谢, 你从他们身上学到了什么，他们对你意味着什么.

 

Schedule time to say goodbyes to your favourite friends, teachers, staff and other people (Ms.

X's baby), 地方(传统), animals (the teacher's dog) and possessions (the painting you are not taking with you). Ah, and your room! 这些都是小仪式，花费的时间比你想象的要长. 列一个清单，勾掉“再见”. 拥抱，哭泣，再拥抱!

 

即使你还在用沉重的心的纸巾, 你需要现实地考虑你的目的地, your future, this summer. 你要去哪里?? 你父母的房子，你的祖国，一个新的国家? 你离开之前需要准备什么吗? 你需要组织什么? Think destination also means planning some activities you will do during the summer. This can be visiting a friend, summer camp, movies you plan to watch or people you want to meet. While you're still saying your goodbyes, looking ahead is equally important!

 

有了这个，你就有了建造你的第一个“木筏”的所有东西." I am not saying it will be easy, because you might feel sad, conflicted and strange. You may even think it might be easier to hide in your room for the next weeks and then just head home. But what you are doing here is intentionally closing the chapter 边境上大学 2022-23 for you!

 

You can use this technique to say your goodbyes whenever you leave a place, 未来的国家或学校. 享受这些回忆吧!

 

祝大家2023年夏天愉快!!

 

Kindly,

 

Andrea

Andrea Schmitt is a life coach specializing in teens and a former Stanstead parent (Jessica Lozano Schmitt 2018). 想了解更多关于她的服务 http://www.globalgirlcoach.com/ 或发邮件至andrea@globalgirlcoach.com.